Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana. Scandal or Stupid Decision?

Miley Cyrus, maybe better known as Hannah Montana, is in the spotlight yet again, not because of a great new song but because of what appears to be “inappropriate” pictures taken with her father who is also her manager.

I viewed an online video of the photo-shoot where these photos were created. Did I perceive the set up to be inappropriate? Let’s take a closer look.

Miley was dressed in jeans and a tank top. During the video she playfully hung upside down during the setup of the shoot like any girl her age would, but in front of the camera gone were the girlish and sometimes goofy smiles she is so well known for. What posed in front of the camera was a blossoming young woman becoming used to her feminine charm and power. I was surprised to see her father come onto the set and strike a reclining pose sitting on the floor resting on one arm. Miley then “decorated” her father by leaning onto him then lying next to him with her head resting on his lap.

What was my initial impression? Inappropriate. She was not just being a girl hanging out with dad shooting some promotional shots. She was not being Hannah Montana in those shots. The poses with the dad were not your average daughter and dad shots. The eye to eye contact captured in the shots did not have parental overtures. If I did not know that this was a father and daughter, I would have believed that these two were intimately involved.

Do I think that they are having some kind of illicit relationship? No I do not. Was this a textbook example of incredibly poor judgment? Yes it was. Some image consultant probably advised them to do this photo shoot saying that Miley has to develop her image after Hannah Montana. That she will not be a kid forever. Show the fans that she is maturing and in connection with that, not be type cast as a Disney character for the rest of her career. Was this good advice? Maybe it was. But the execution was a blunder in the umpteenth degree.

Lastly, the dad was the most to blame for this situation. He is her manager. More importantly he is her father. He is there to not only protect her business interests but to help her make the proper decisions regarding her image and lifestyle. To help her learn the thought process that goes into making good solid decisions for herself. What I saw was an aging man who enjoyed the attention he was getting to the detriment of his daughter. He was posing for his fans trying to look cool and attractive. He was not there trying to look like Miley’s dad.

Another example of how your bad decisions can have far ranging effect on those around you. Ego strikes yet again and claims two more victims.

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Can allowing yourself to be raped be considered "Self Defense"?

What a question right? You are screaming at your screen thinking there is no possible way letting yourself be raped be considered "self defense". Let's see if we can modify your outlook.

We now understand about "broadcasting" but remember that predators occasionally make mistakes or you were distracted by some life altering incident leaving a hole in the fabric of your armor. Then it happens, you are confronted by an attacker. What now?

First, you are still the confident and self controlled you. This is important in that when we "loose it" we really are losing self control and therefore the control of our life. When that happens, the circumstance now controls you and not vice versa. Assess the situation. Where are you? Are there people around or nearby? What is around you? What does your attacker look like? What is he wearing? If you get a good grasp of the knowns, you can more methodically handle the unknowns. Listen to what the attacker is saying. Etc. etc. etc.

We will spend more time, another time, going over making assessments and what to do with those assessments. Right now I am trying to intrigue you, so let's get to the question.

You are now, after careful assessment, at the point where the attacker is about to rape you. Remember, your universe is yours. You have created this universe for yourself decision by decision since the day that you could make decisions. You are now cornered in a place that nobody can come to your aid. (Why you are here in the first place?) You have tried talking to this person. You told the attacker your first name and that you have three kids or a mom, dad, and little brother. This humanizes you. You have asked that the attacker simply does not do this.

The attacker moves closer. You assess the attackers size and strength. Can you fight? Do you know how? The attacker grabs you. What are your options?

Remember, when you make a decision for yourself, your psychological "survivability" is much improved over when your ability to make a decision for yourself is forcibly taken from you. Rape is just such a thing. It is not sexual in essence. Rape is about power and control. The very things that you work for on a daily basis. The decision to allow yourself to get raped, gives you back control over your body and psychological health. Here's how.

There have been women that before being raped asked the assailant to wear a condom. She would say that she has an STD or that she did not want to get pregnant. There have been women that offered to give the assailant oral sex instead of vaginal intercourse, some even getting the person to wear a condom for that. Ultimately, some knew that if they did not give in to the attackers demands, they could quite possibly be severely injured or killed. The difference between these women and too many others, is that these women made the "conscious decision" to "allow" the rape to take place. This is quite different from "losing it" and your decision making ability being torn from you leaving you totally helpless and ultimately victimized.

In the end, the decision is yours to make. Fight or not to fight? What is right or wrong? The answer is, what can you live with? What can you accept? Make your call and go for it.

Think of these things now. Then make decisions in your life that will prepare you for whatever may come your way. First, live your life in a way that minimizes the opportunity for these types of things to happen. Where you travel, how you dress, your "broadcasts", the people you know, are just some of things that determine your "threat matrix". Do you know how to fight, use that gizmo your friend gave you, shoot that gun?

I want you to ask yourself right now where you are in connection with all of this. Ask the questions I asked in todays entry. Then make decisions to improve your knowledge base. If you need more information or advice, just ask via the comments box. I will do my best to give you an answer as soon as possible. If I do not know the answer, I will research it for you and let you know where to look.

Thanks for reading. Please tell a friend about this BLOG. Take care.

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Advice for women regarding "Self Defense"

"Self Defense", "Peace of mind", and "Personal Security" all start from within. You must develop a sense of self and personal worth. Again, we are back to decisions. Remember that we are in total control of our personal universe.

Let's talk about the practical application of this. Picture a lioness crouched low in a thick cover of brush. She is observing a small group of animals foraging for food relatively nearby. In the group of animals that she is observing there are several that appear to be strong and healthy. Among the group there are also old and young along with one or two that appear to be sick or injured. She is deciding which one she is going to attack. It is hot, very hot. She will only have enough energy for one attempt. If she exerts to much energy, there is a chance that she might not be able to recover from the exertion. Which one would you pick and why?

The lioness will go after the one that her instincts told her will be the easiest for her to down. The animal that she decides to chase will be "broadcasting" to the lioness certain signs or symptoms of weakness or vulnerability. It is these "broadcasts" that over time drew the attention of the lioness and ultimately steeled her intent to attack. The broadcasts I speak of are things like a limp, labored breathing, distance from the rest of the animals, and age. The social structure of some animals can also come into play. Can lioness make a mistake? Yes. There are many incidents where the Lioness attacks an animal that is able to fight back and sometimes even kill the lioness. These mistakes are often due to inexperience or simple desperation. What does this have to do with you or any other woman?

Simple, you control your universe and the "broadcasts" that you impart to the world. If a video was made of you going about your daily activities that you did not know was being made, what would you think about the woman you were watching? Was she confident, strong, determined, intense, and friendly? Did she appear weak, sick, confused, lost, sad, or ambivalent? Now put yourself in the place of the lioness. Which one would you attack if you saw both versions of you moving about?

Now the first step to personal safety. Is your life your own? Do you control your personal universe? In an earlier blog entry, we talked about this using a person with an addiction as an example. When you give your life away, you no longer have the power to make decisions for your yourself. Your addiction is now in charge and making decisions for you. Your addiction will not make decisions in your best interest but in it's own best interest to your detriment. Does this sound appealing? When your life is living you like this, you can rest assured that whatever predatory element there is in your addictions life, it is looking straight at YOU. Please read that last sentence again because it is not a typo. It is very important.

Let's end today's time together by deciding to take a long look at where we are in our lives. At the end of that moment of reflection, consciously ask yourself if you own your life. If your answer is no, ask yourself who or what owns it now? Knowing what or who is in control of your life is the second step in taking it back. The first being able to admit that it is no longer your life and that you in fact gave it up. After this, I want you to stand in front of a mirror and tell your addiction that you are taking your life back, and that as of that moment you are in charge. From that moment on start living your life one decision at a time. You must look at every decision from that moment on and determine if it will further your life goal at that moment of keeping your life and not giving it away again. This is our journey together. Not yours and mine alone, but all the like minded people that share the same intent.

We are going to be on this for a while. For the guys out there that may have gotten this far in this entry, please know that this is also for you. The same principals apply to male beasts in the wild. Not just the females of the species are hunted. Another way this applies to you is that it would become a requirement that you educate the people you love for their best interests. If you were given a vaccine for some deadly disease that was going around, would you share it with your wife, daughter, mother, or sister? Do I really need to ask?

Take care. See you soon.

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