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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Can allowing yourself to be raped be considered "Self Defense"?

What a question right? You are screaming at your screen thinking there is no possible way letting yourself be raped be considered "self defense". Let's see if we can modify your outlook.

We now understand about "broadcasting" but remember that predators occasionally make mistakes or you were distracted by some life altering incident leaving a hole in the fabric of your armor. Then it happens, you are confronted by an attacker. What now?

First, you are still the confident and self controlled you. This is important in that when we "loose it" we really are losing self control and therefore the control of our life. When that happens, the circumstance now controls you and not vice versa. Assess the situation. Where are you? Are there people around or nearby? What is around you? What does your attacker look like? What is he wearing? If you get a good grasp of the knowns, you can more methodically handle the unknowns. Listen to what the attacker is saying. Etc. etc. etc.

We will spend more time, another time, going over making assessments and what to do with those assessments. Right now I am trying to intrigue you, so let's get to the question.

You are now, after careful assessment, at the point where the attacker is about to rape you. Remember, your universe is yours. You have created this universe for yourself decision by decision since the day that you could make decisions. You are now cornered in a place that nobody can come to your aid. (Why you are here in the first place?) You have tried talking to this person. You told the attacker your first name and that you have three kids or a mom, dad, and little brother. This humanizes you. You have asked that the attacker simply does not do this.

The attacker moves closer. You assess the attackers size and strength. Can you fight? Do you know how? The attacker grabs you. What are your options?

Remember, when you make a decision for yourself, your psychological "survivability" is much improved over when your ability to make a decision for yourself is forcibly taken from you. Rape is just such a thing. It is not sexual in essence. Rape is about power and control. The very things that you work for on a daily basis. The decision to allow yourself to get raped, gives you back control over your body and psychological health. Here's how.

There have been women that before being raped asked the assailant to wear a condom. She would say that she has an STD or that she did not want to get pregnant. There have been women that offered to give the assailant oral sex instead of vaginal intercourse, some even getting the person to wear a condom for that. Ultimately, some knew that if they did not give in to the attackers demands, they could quite possibly be severely injured or killed. The difference between these women and too many others, is that these women made the "conscious decision" to "allow" the rape to take place. This is quite different from "losing it" and your decision making ability being torn from you leaving you totally helpless and ultimately victimized.

In the end, the decision is yours to make. Fight or not to fight? What is right or wrong? The answer is, what can you live with? What can you accept? Make your call and go for it.

Think of these things now. Then make decisions in your life that will prepare you for whatever may come your way. First, live your life in a way that minimizes the opportunity for these types of things to happen. Where you travel, how you dress, your "broadcasts", the people you know, are just some of things that determine your "threat matrix". Do you know how to fight, use that gizmo your friend gave you, shoot that gun?

I want you to ask yourself right now where you are in connection with all of this. Ask the questions I asked in todays entry. Then make decisions to improve your knowledge base. If you need more information or advice, just ask via the comments box. I will do my best to give you an answer as soon as possible. If I do not know the answer, I will research it for you and let you know where to look.

Thanks for reading. Please tell a friend about this BLOG. Take care.

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