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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Is LOVE ever enough?

When is LOVE just not enough? Enough for what you might ask. I think that we need to explore just what love is a little more.

Why doesn’t he/she love me? I have done everything I can for him/her and I feel so unappreciated. Have you ever found yourself asking these questions? You might need to examine what love really is.

What is LOVE? Well the Thesaurus in my trusty Microsoft Word defines it as follows: to feel affection for, adore, worship, be in love with, be devoted to, care for, find irresistible, be keen on, be fond of, and lists hate as the antonym of LOVE. The defining factor in all of these examples is that they are all “outward bound” acts. LOVE is something you give and not something that can be expected in return.

Love has many defining factors depending on where it is coming from. Mother, father, child, sibling, teacher, mentor, or even coaches have the ability to love you. Each one of those people that I just mentioned will love differently depending on their individual life experience. Each one of us has experienced love in different ways from the time of our births. The ideal of love has been burned into us by our life’s experiences and decisions. (And Hallmark card quotes)

We have all heard the term “unconditional love” have we not? Again, it is an ideal which is outbound by nature and by its own name more in line with what we are discussing here today. You cannot hear that term and expect unconditional love. You have to be the one to be willing to give it. You have to make the decision that you will love, serve, and protect the target of this priceless gift whether or not the same energy and devotion is ever returned to you. A parental relationship is where you most often see this kind of love thrive, mothers more specifically. We have all heard of the mother that still housed her floundering 29 year old “child” who is still trying to find his/her niche in the world. That floundering “child” by the way verbally and in some cases physically abusing the doting mother. Yet there he/she is, cowering in the safety of mom’s apron. Ask her if LOVE is enough.

Now we look at marriage. You were attending a party when out of the corner of your eye you spot her/him. Out of the corner of your eye you notice her/him glancing your way. Before you realize it you are out on your first date ordering that house salad when you would have ordered the full rack of beef ribs with all the fixins. In a flash a diamond ring is purchased and being gingerly placed on a delicate finger. You turn around and running by at breakneck speed is your son being chased by his sister with a pair of scissors. Now you want to ask if LOVE is enough. Your decision making abilities have brought you this far. Now where will they take you?

It is now when the word martyr comes into mind. Does anyone have to martyr themselves in a marriage? Well if you consider yourself one, you have already given up and left. Love is no longer what you have to give. Self pity and regret are what now consume you. By staying in this situation you are perpetuating the negativity that you so desire to escape. It is akin to a drowning person asking for a glass of water. The real tragedy here is the fact that the negative energy you are creating is affecting those around you also. Maybe better said to say that it is infecting those around you. It would be virtually impossible to maintain any level of positivism in this situation. I ask you again, Is LOVE ever enough?

Is LOVE ever enough? That can only be determined by the person giving it. You need to look within and decide that you want to be where you are at. That you have a clear understanding of what particular situation you are in and once you have decided that you are “all in” you need to make clear decisions as to how your decision will effect those around you. Remember that you should make decisions that first improve your position in your universe with the intention of improving the position of those that you love in theirs. LOVE is always enough. The real question is, FOR WHOM?


J. Ray Rice said...

Excellent post! We always look for another to give us what we do not or cannot give ourselves.

FANCY said...

Hello there...

Love question in the post...can we love enough!? My father always said "that love continues but the subject change." ;-)

I like your blogg have bean look around. :)

ANNA-LYS said...

Thank You for visiting our community blog :-)

Love ... is also food and shelter for those living in need that You don't know.

FANCY said...

I really hope that you will come to my own blog to ;-))))

Doc KC said...

Amazing article on love. I have a bit to say about love and you can find it on my blog at http://docinthebiz.com/blog/defining-love-and-relationships/.
Keep on writing because you have so much good to share!
Dr. KC

The_Sphinx's World said...

I guess if two people really love each other, it should be enough because both will try their best to make things work out for the both of them.

r1ooooo said...

Hi there.. Thanx for your comments. I hope your friend will success with his football clinic then. Have a great day..

Jaime Parmis said...

Great post! Love is the greatest...

nikthecypriot said...

I really loved this post. It's great!

GLICH (www.glennong.com) said...

To answer your question: "Why doesn’t he/she love me? I have done everything I can for him/her and I feel so unappreciated."

Perhaps because s/he sees that you don't love yourself, so why will s/he love you?

Excellent post! :)